Tampa Is…?

Instead of just shaking your head, a new program allows you to report litterbugs - at least in Eastern Hillsborough County:

Keep Hillsborough County Beautiful, a nonprofit organization aimed at keeping the county free of litter, has started a pilot program in the Mango, Seffner and Thonotosassa areas called Trash Troopers.

The program works like this: Residents who see someone, say, toss a drink can out of his car can call a hot line and leave information about what they saw, when the littering happened and any identifying information, such as a license plate number.

The organization will send letters to offending motorists informing them that someone in their vehicle was spotted littering and that littering is illegal. A trash bag or pocket ashtray will also be provided.

We hope Keep Hillsborough County Beautiful (be friends with KHCB on myspace!) can keep the program going, and expand it to the rest of the county.

For now, if you see someone out east tossing trash somewhere outside a garbage can, don’t confront the violators. Simply turn the violator’s information into Keep Hillsborough County Beautiful (KHCB) via their contact page, or download the online report (doc), call the Trash Trooper Litter Hotline 1-877-Y-LITTER or 1-877-954-8837, fax the report to 813.960.5044, or send e-mail to KHCB3@yahoo.com,

Litterbugs suck.

I’m not making this up.

State highway safety officials are asking bikers to dress brightly, paint their motorcycles in brighter colors and add more lights to the machines.

The Florida Department of Highway Safety and Motor Vehicles have unveiled a new campaign called - get this - Ride Proud, Dress Loud.  The idea is to convince motorcycle riders to help themselves be seen easier by other drivers.

Can you imagine watching a half dozen motorcycles pass you, with their riders all dolled up like Elton John?

But what the hell do I know - I’m no biker.  It just might work!

I mean, if Easy Rider heads out to the poker run with rainbow stickers all over his bike, while wearing a plume of bright green peacock feathers, or maybe a big sequined shiny vest, I can imagine that lots of folks wouldn’t get too close.

At least one rider thinks it’s a good idea.  But I don’t think they will all be convinced.  Even the gay motorcycle clubs stick to denim and leather, as did that biker from the Village People.

Another rider is outraged at the promotion.  For some reason, instead of suggesting he dress like Elton John, he expected the state to insist that us car drivers take some responsibility.

To be sure, all drivers should ALWAYS look out for motorcycles.  But at the same time, all riders should RIDE TO LIVE, and help convince those idiots who don’t to ride with some damn sense (and patience).

I’m sure you are well aware that mosquitoes are annoying. They also transmit diseases such as the West Nile virus and Eastern equine encephalitis virus, either of which you don’t want to contract.

Alas, the Florida Department of Health says the number of reported cases carried by mosquitoes are coming in earlier than normal. The reason is not clear.

In other news, many people are abandoning houses in droves because of foreclosures. Seems that some of those abandoned properties include mosquito-infested pools (and old tires, and toys left out, and other places where those critters can breed), now.

But do not despair! Scientists say that approximately one in ten of us is a super-magnet for mosquitoes. All you have to do is befriend one of these folks, and bring them to all of your barbeques, pool parties, and camping trips. While the bugs dine on your new friend, you can enjoy the outdoors with little worry!

See DOH arboviral data for yourself.

Holly Benson, inept Secretary at Florida’s Agency for Health Care Administration, said in a radio interview Wednesday being poor or unemployed is no excuse to be unhealthy.

“It means,” Benson said, “you have a lot more time to go running.”

The radio host laughed in response.

Oh, those poor fat people. They are just so so funny.

Hear for yourself.

Or feel free to listen to the unedited version, if you can take more than a few minutes of elitist snobs laughing at the unfortunate among us.

Who hired this woman and put her in charge of Florida’s health care needs? Charlie Crist, a man who wants to be vice-president, chose a woman who:

1) wears biker gear in her official photo (see above),
2) is in desperate need of what my hair stylist calls a “corrective color situation,”
3) thinks poor people can solve health care woes like heart disease and diabetes with a quick run around the block. After all, they have nothing better to do.

Choice move, Crist. Nurse Ratched wasn’t available?

(x-posted at Out in Left Field)

Hi y’all, I know I’ve been missing for a while, and I had just gotten started here at Sticks, but this is why:

Have you all seen the new Master Card commercial where the SNL (Saturday Night Live) cartoon buffoon Mr. Bill goes flying off the back of a treadmill? Yeah, well don’t try it at home… or at the gym!

For all you younger folks who don’t remember Mr. Bill, the hilariously ill-fated floppy doll, you can jog your childhood memories or get new ones at YouTube, where they have this and several of his other misfortunes (YouTube has everything!). But I digress…

So I was up in Chicago visiting the family for Mother’s Day, and my sister convinced me to get up two hours earlier than we needed to and go work out at her gym. We get on the treadmills, and set them for 40 minutes.

“These are powerful. Whatever you do, don’t let go,” she says, and I laugh because I’ve been on treadmills many times before. But, of course, with only 5 minutes left out of 40, I proceeded to let go because I’m such a well-balanced sports pro (ha-ha). All of a sudden, my left foot caught the side, I was whacked over into the handlebar, and I heard this crack. Then, before she could get to me to turn the machine off, I tumbled first onto my back and end up on my stomach. Not pleasant, and very humiliating! The place was packed with people!

In immense pain, I figured I broke a rib, but told her I was fine - resisting every impulse to make her feel guilty as sin for dragging me there.

Next day, the pain was so bad I got up really early, figuring I’d sneak off to a nearby emergency room before meeting up with the family again. I called my insurance company for a network ER. They sent me to a hospital, I drove there, and found out it is now a public library!

So, I thought, “I’m going home in 2 days, I’ll live with the pain.” They don’t do anything for broken ribs anyway anymore, it just has to heal naturally. I figured as soon as I get back to Tampa, I’ll go get X-rays and see how bad it really is.

But one day after returning, I found out my husband’s brother, suffering with a glioma brain tumor just like Ted Kennedy’s for two years, was finally near the end of his pain. We left for South Carolina for a sad but also relieving ending to a long road. He believed in God and looked forward to a better place. During the wait at the hospital (4 days), I did stuff for his side of the family like go get take-out and sundries. My pain was minuscule compared to theirs.

Long story short, I finally got X-rays and did have a broken rib. It hurt pretty bad for 3-4 weeks - no treadmills or upper-body exercise for me - but then started clearing up suddenly. I haven’t been able to sit really comfortably at the computer until last week.

And so, that is my story and the moral is - don’t let go of the handlebars. And I hope everyone’s family is OK this summer.

(For more hilarious treadmill terrors, see this video, or this one. I’ve been getting them from everyone!).

No doubt many of you have heard about the attack on the young woman returning books to the public library in Bloomingdale. It’s a crime so vicious, ugly and senseless that there are simply no sides to take and no issues to debate.

Unfortunately, it looks like that might not turn out to be the case in the aftermath. Here’s hoping that this doesn’t turn into another moral, ethical and, ultimately, political football, like the Terri Schiavo fiasco. The victim and her family have certainly suffered enough without that circus coming to town again.

In the meantime, while we’re all still being civil with one another and are at least in agreement that these people are facing unimaginably horrific circumstances over which they have no control, at least we can help.

SunTrust Bank has established the “Bloomingdale Library Assault Victim Fund.” Call a local SunTrust Bank branch and tell them that you would like to contribute. Please spread the word about this young woman and her family, so that she is not forgotten, and let others know how they can help, too.

Community Collection Centers may be used to dispose of collectible items by those residential customers who receive an exemption from curb-side pick up, and non-collectible items by non-residential customers. This facility accepts collectible waste, non-collectible waste, scrap metal, tires, used motor oil,lead acid batteries and recyclable curbside materials.

Household chemicals and electronics are accepted from 8AM to 2PM at the Northwest facility (9805 Sheldon Rd.) on the 1st Saturday of the month, the South County facility (Powell Rd., east off US 41, ¼ north of Big Bend Rd.) on the 2nd Saturday of the month, and the East County facility (Thonotosassa, CR 579, ¼ mile north of I-4, Exit 10) on the 3rd Saturday of the month. Materials accepted include paint, solvents, pool chemicals, hobby and craft supplies, lawn and garden chemicals, computers, stereos, televisions, etc. Collections are for residents only - NO chemicals or electronics will be accepted from commercial interests.

Googlemapper johnncalli shows us where to find those Hillsborough County Garbage Dumps:

View Larger Map

As someone who lives on the Babe Zaharias golf course, I’ve always been a little leery of the stuff I see groundskeepers spreading on it. Sometimes the chemical smell is overpowering. Sometimes my dog and cat get inexplicable itchy blisters.

I worry about the ducks, squirrels, frogs, lizards, turtles, Sandhill cranes, ibis, bluejays, mockingbirds, and even hawks and spoonbills that hang out there. I never see a single rabbit, raccoon or possum, which were all plentiful in Seminole Heights, where I used to live. I also worry about the guys who work on the course every day and the kids and elderly people who live there, absorbing those chemicals through their skin and lungs.

Then the St. Pete Times ran a story about the Sports Authority using a dangerous chemical called Curfew at the Babe. Of course the Sports Authority says they use it properly, meaning within the guidelines set by manufacturer Dow Chemical, based on studies Dow Chemical paid for.

I know I trust chemical manufacturers to place my health above their profits. How about you?

I have dealt with representatives from the Sports Authority before on safety issues and can say that the ones I spoke with could care less about my health and safety. Even if you don’t live on the golf course or near it, those chemicals enter the air and the groundwater.

I love the Babe, but for the fact is that it is not currently being operated in a way that is responsible to the environment and the community. But there is hope.

More than 2,110 golf courses in 24 countries around the world have become greater assets and reduced the harm they do by joining and becoming certified by the Audubon Cooperative Sanctuary Program for Golf Courses.

“The ACSP is an award winning education and certification program that helps golf courses protect our environment and preserve the natural heritage of the game of golf. By helping people enhance the valuable natural areas and wildlife habitats that golf courses provide, improve efficiency, and minimize potentially harmful impacts of golf operations, the ACSP serves as vital resource for golf courses… The ACSP is all about results. Participating golf courses improve environmental performance and community relations, reduce liability, save money, and contribute to the conservation of our environment.”

If you’ve got the time, drop in at the City Council meeting Thursday at 9am and tell the Tampa Sports Authority to show some intelligence and responsibility to the community and the environment. Based on my past experiences with them, I have a hunch they won’t do it unless forced to by the public.

The Babe, by the way, is one of Tampa’s more interesting historic sites. Creative Loafing ran a great story about the Babe some time ago.