Tampa Is…?

There seems to be some sort of cosmic law that requires that at all times, one of Tampa Bay’s three major league teams must be the most laughably inept in it’s sport. It would appear that it is the Lightning’s turn…again…to keep the universe in balance as management has fired head coach Barry Melrose after 16 games.

Just because I thought hiring Melrose was a bad idea in the first place doesn’t mean that I’m happy about him being fired. Because as a ham-and-egger off the street (Joe the Fan, if you will), there’s absolutely no consequence whatsoever to me being wrong (or right) about the team’s personnel decisions. That’s one of the great things about being a fan. The professionals who are paid to make those decisions, however, are a different story. They don’t get the luxury of being pleasantly surprised if they’re wrong.

In this case, they fired a Stanley Cup winning coach (albeit one who had just finished with the worst record in the league) and presumably bypassed other candidates to hire someone who hadn’t coached at any level in over a decade… only to fire him after playing less than 20% of one season. Point being, if it took so little time to figure out it wasn’t a good fit, you have to wonder if the pre-hire vetting process was as thorough as it could and should have been. Again, that’s why the professionals make the big bucks.

Considering it took only 12 games to dump Matt Carle, the focal point of the trade that cost the Lightning hard-working all-star defenseman and fan favorite Dan Boyle, fans probably shouldn’t be too shocked if Marty St. Louis gets traded in the middle of the next unsuccessful power play. I can imagine the press release now…

“This was a tough decision to make. Marty is a good man and we have a great deal of respect for him and all he’s done for the organization over the years. We wish him nothing but success. However, we’ve had the man advantage for nearly half a minute now and the results have been unacceptable. The players have to understand that we need to be better. Hopefully this change helps us for the remaining 1:36 of Wade Brookbank’s hooking penalty.”

Of course, an organization that turns to the po rn industry as a model for building it’s marketing campaign probably isn’t one that’s looking to set standards for good judgment.

(Cross posted at Ridiculously inconsistent trickle of consciousness)

Soon, the 18-year-old woman who was raped and beaten in April at the Bloomingdale Regional Public Library is expected to leave the rehabilitation center where she has been receiving treatment.
The house where her family lives and where she will reside needs extensive renovations to accommodate her medical needs when she returns home.

Thankfully, people have been stepping up to offer assistance.

If you would like to offer assistance, there are a number of ways to do so:

• Pink and red latex bracelets with the inscription, “Everyone’s Daughter, Everyone’s Friend,” are available at the Ruskin Chamber of Commerce for a $5 donation. The bracelets will be available at the chamber, 315 S. Tamiami Trail, from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. Monday through Friday, and at the office of Child Protection Education of America, 3439 Brook Crossing Drive, Brandon, from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. Monday through Thursday.
• Bloomingdale High School’s PTSA is hosting a 5-kilometer run/walk fundraiser November 1st at Bloomingdale High School. Registration is at 9 a.m. and the event starts at 10 a.m.
• Also on November 1st, the International Independent Showmen’s Association, 6915 Riverview Drive, Riverview, is presenting a fundraising entertainment extravaganza beginning at 12 p.m. Tickets are $25 and will be sold at the door. The outdoor concert is being organized by St. Petersburg resident Jim Brady, and will feature doo-wop, country and Latin entertainers. Bring your own chairs and blanket. Food and drinks will be available for sale.
• Aaron Fredricks, proprietor of East Coast Pizza in Ruskin is planning two events in cooperation with the Ruskin Chamber of Commerce. The first is a barbecue on November 22nd and the second is a golf outing on December 5th. These events are still in the planning stages, so if you’d like more information, or would like to offer your services, please contact Mr. Fredricks at (813) 234-1700 or fred12582@aol.com.

And if you’d like even more info, here are some additional resources:

• Tampa Tribune report, June 2008
• A column by Steve Otto of the Tampa Tribune
• A report on fundraising efforts at Sticks of Fire.com.
• A fund to assist the victim’s family is being administered by SunTrust Bank
• Contact info for Sarina Fazan of WFTS TV in Tampa, who has been actively involved with reporting on the case itself as well as various fundraisers and other assistance efforts.

(Cross posted at Ridiculous trickle of consciousness)

Well, he is free on $250 bail, but Walsh Ian Nichols, who likes to dress up like Batman and hang around clubs in Ybor City was arrested last week.  He was charged with “wearing hood on street” and not having a valid motorcycle license.

Wearing a hood in public has been a law on the books in Tampa since 1951, initially designed to thwart members of the Ku Kl ux Klan from sporting their regalia in public.  Similar to Elliott Ness finally nailing Al Capone on tax evasion, Tampa’s untouchables defeated ra cism once and for all by legislating hats. It’s still in effect today and is usually used against criminals who wear masks while committing felonies like armed robbery.

As far as Batman goes, Nichols resembles Adam West more than Christian Bale. He just doesn’t look like the relentless, grim vigilante who’s committed his life to the eradication of evil. But he also doesn’t look like a threat to public safety either.

Why does Nichols feel the need to dress up like Batman and patrol the streets of Ybor?

Who cares?

The point is, do we want to live in a city… a world, where there can’t be a Batman? There are plenty of warped individuals out there who follow their dark, twisted obsessions intent on doing us harm. Can’t we have just one who follows his with the intent of serving the public good, even if that just means high-fiving and posing for photos with tourists?

(Cross posted at Ridiculous trickle of consciousness)

You have to wonder if the Tampa Tribune is going for some sort of world’s record in poor decision making. After the week they had, how else would you explain the puff piece Q & A with Buccaneers tight end Jerramy Stevens in Anwar Richardson’s “Wide Right” column published on Sunday?

Stevens, who has a history of arrests for assault with a deadly weapon, marijuana possession, sexual assault and drunk driving (if you want details, click here, but prepare for a long read… and to be thoroughly sickened) is in his first season with the Buccaneers.

“I can remember the worst beating I got. It wasn’t painful because of the physical part, but it was painful because of the trauma of the situation. When I was a little, I set these trees on fire by my house and I called the fire department. I was putting it out, and right as I was getting it out, my dad pulled up and that trauma from the look in his eye lasted a lifetime for me.”

(Cross posted at Ridiculously inconsistent trickle of consciousness)

I know the only thing worse than hearing a fan whine about how the officials are cheating against their favorite team is hearing a fan whine about how the officials are cheating against their FIRST PLACE team.

But seeing not one, but two utterly heinous blown calls go against the beloved home town Tampa Bay Rays twice within a week is enough to make one at least react like this:

Granted, Sunday’s game in Chicago probably shouldn’t have even gone to extra innings. However, I fear that Shawn Riggans might be the Rays answer to former Lightning defender Pavel Kubina. He’s a dedicated team guy that you really want to embrace because he works hard and isn’t afraid to do more than his share of dirty work but always seems to do that one dumb thing in a game that makes you react like this:

In this case, it was dropping the ball on as easy and routine a play at home plate as you’re ever likely to see which allowed the tying run to score. Excuse me for a second please…

Of course, that doesn’t excuse the heinousness that followed.

Now, no reasonable person should think that any kind of “fix” is taking place. For one, this isn’t the NBA. Secondly, there are literally millions of reasons to believe that if there was some kind of dark conspiracy taking place behind the scenes to favor one team over another, it probably wouldn’t be for the White Sox:

Third, and most important, we’re still in first place.

Cross posted at Ridiculously inconsistent trickle of consciousness

Oh boy!

In another one of those kooky quirks of scheduling, Tampa played host to both the Women of Faith Infinite Grace conference and the 2008 FetishCon this past weekend. One event featured appearances by Eden Wells, Kumi Monster and RubberDoll, the other featured Patsy Clairmont, Sandi Patty and Marilyn Meberg. I’ll let you Google those names and figure out who was where, but the real delight is in knowing that these people and their fans were both occupying the same relatively small space at the same time.

Event organizers and venue bookers will both say that Tampa is a large enough city now that having multiple events that draw large and disparate crowds at the same time really shouldn’t be an issue. And they’re probably right. But…

Women Of Faith was held at the St. Pete Times Forum, which can hold up to 20,000 people and FetishCon, which draws over 2,000 people, was held at the Hyatt Regency about a half mile away. There are four, maybe five, hotels and about a dozen or so restaurants that you could reasonably classify as within walking distance of those two sites. Factor in just how dissimilar these two groups are and you have a recipe for awkward social interaction comedy gold, baby!

I’m just picturing two groups of people, clutching either bibles or leashes with people attached to them, waiting for the streetcar to Channelside or for a table at First Watch: “Umm…that’s okay, you go ahead. No, really. Please.”

Cross posted at Ridiculous trickle of consciousness

Back in the early ’80s, civic leaders branded Tampa “America’s Next Great City”. Since then, we’ve been on a quest to gather as many sports franchises, high profile events, aquariums and streetcars as possible in an effort to legitimize that claim. Another brick in that wall was added this week when it was announced a big name was coming to Tampa. No, not quarterback Brett Favre who was traded to the New York Jets instead of the beloved hometown Buccaneers, but a much, much bigger fish. Or rather, someone who…allegedly…sends others to sleep with the fishes.

Naturally, we as a community could not possibly be more excited. Well, except maybe for Rays skipper Joe Maddon, who when he first heard Junior was coming to town thought a late waiver wire deal had been worked out to get Ken Griffey. But for the rest of us, while we love justice, we really love spectacle on a grand scale. And this has all the makings of an epic, just the way we like it. Word is that negotiations are already underway for either Joe Redner, Debra LaFave or a couple of Hogans to throw out the ceremonial first affidavit (I’m pulling for Redner; having been arrested over 140 times, the guy really knows his way around a courtroom).

(Cross posted at Ridiculously inconsistent trickle of consciousness)

Kind of on the spur of the moment, I attended the much-hyped Criss Angel event at Clearwater Beach last night. The illusionist was scheduled to “escape” from the condemned Spyglass Inn live before it was imploded on his A&E television show.

I was just excited to see a building imploded, something I’ve always wanted to witness live. Unbelievably, there’s no actual video of it up on YouTube yet (of course, that could change by the time you read this), but here is the computer animation of what was supposed to happen:

It went down just like that and was truly an amazing thing to see happen in person. On that front, the evening did not disappoint. Other aspects, however…

We were really too far away to witness the whole magic, great escape aspect but I recorded the show and watched it this morning and it looked kind of corny on TV. What I find strange…and funny…is how many people seem seriously upset after the fact that there might have been some trickery involved.

I guess it didn’t occur to these people that neither the city of Clearwater nor the company handling the demolition would sign off on a televised stunt where there was real danger. If nothing else, do they really think the guy in charge of pushing the button to set off the explosives is going to do so if it means killing someone?

“Sorry, my orders are to push the button at 10:55 and that’s what I’m-a gonna do. (BOOM!)”

Newsflash: Magicians don’t really have magical powers. There’s a reason these stunts are called “illusions”. Somebody better hide the sharp objects if these people ever hear some of the ugly rumors out there about Santa Claus.

Navigating and exploring Clearwater Beach itself turned out to be the most unpleasant aspect of the whole thing. True, it’s really not the kind of area that’s set up to handle a sudden influx and egress of 50,000 people but surly parking attendants and (some) restaurant and hotel staff who seemed genuinely annoyed by having to deal with extra customers on a Wednesday evening didn’t help matters.

When it was over, there were lots of police officers driving around but they didn’t seem to be doing much to speed the flow of traffic. I left there at 11:45PM and got home (24.2 miles) at 2:20AM, by which time I was wishing that they’d imploded more than the Spyglass.