say, are you gonna drink that poopwater?
tommy permalink | categories: city, environment, marketing, tampa, tax waste, utilitiesby tommy @ 6:07 pm
Based on their pained expressions, it’s easy to see that Gasparilla Marathon runners are thirsty for something familiar. You’ll notice those runners will just grab anything being handed out along the raceway. But the result is always the same - once they taste that first sip, they throw the cup down in disgust. What’s in those cups? Probably Aquafina or Zephyrhills water. Maybe even Perrier. Fine stuff, to be sure. But not what those athletes want. What they really want is some regular old Tampa tap water.
Well, I have good news for those race runners. From the City of Tampa Water Department:
Clearly Tampa bottled water is the same high-quality drinking water provided daily to Tampa residents and businesses by the Tampa Water Department.
That is right. It is no longer necessary for you to stay home in order to enjoy the refreshing taste of regular city tapwater. The Tampa Water Department has found a way to capture that reclaimed poopwater, so you can drink it on the run. This is not a dream - you can find your favorite drink made from the beautiful natural resources of the Hillsborough River, packaged in easy-to-hold plastic containers.
But this water is not just good for Gasparilla entrants. Not at all. Imagine South Tampa housewives on soccer field sidelines no longer being forced to drinking water from some other place. HARTline bus riders could use this refreshing, refined beverage, since they have to walk a couple miles to the closest stop. Ravers would probably prefer these bottles of water too.
And of course, don’t forget - we’re in the middle of HURRICANE SEASON. Picture yourself being shipped off to some evacuation center. With your own case of Clearly Tampa tapwater, you would no longer have to stand in line for the tapwater fountain.
Alas, the alluring flavor of Clearly Tampa is not available for everyone. You cannot purchase this stuff in stores. You can’t even buy it from the city. The only time you will see this stuff is during city-sponsored events. Drat.
But you CAN get a magnet.
Tags: city, environment, marketing, tampa, tax waste, utilities
Loading ...
July 6th, 2006 at 7:22 pm
July 6th, 2006 at 10:17 pm
Follow this link to find out how you can save yourself from the horrors of poopwater.
July 6th, 2006 at 11:26 pm
I demand a byline for your title. Dammit.
July 7th, 2006 at 10:02 am
If you’re still not sure, put a tap filter on your kitchen faucet. It’s what I use and my drinking water is dang near perfect. Of course, if you’re too pretentious for your own good, order that bottle of Pellegrino the waiter is waving in front of your table.